Today was a hard day. I didn't expect it to be because the last few days have felt better. Not exactly normal, but better. I thought it was a sign that I was on the mend...clear skies ahead and all that noise. I guess sometimes it can just creep up and hit you.
My friend came in today to attend the staff meeting where all this year's promotions were announced. She is on maternity leave so it was an unexpected visit to most people in the office. Today was the first time most of our coworkers have seen her since she had the baby and today her son is one month old. She is one of my best friends and we work together; I knew she was coming and I thought it was going to be no problem. We even scheduled lunch.
I guess I didn't consider that everyone would be so excited to see her. I didn't think that hearing everyone be so happy about her and her baby would give me this feeling deep in my chest. I knew she was coming to the office and I know she had her baby. I've even met him. I didn't expect to hear people's comments when she showed them the pictures..."Oh, he's so cute!"..."He's so little"..."look at all that hair"... She is very well liked and she deserves that type of welcome. I want her to have that. I wasn't expecting to want to hide from it.
I'm the strong one. I'm the rock. I'll get through it and I'll be OK. Even though today was hard, I know it won't always be. I laughed this weekend and got my nails done. I did a little planning with my dad on what to do in the back yard. I only shed a few tears when I watched last week's episode of Brothers and Sisters on my DVR. I'll get through it and I'll be OK...
9 comments:
You are the strong one indeed. I hope others are strong around you, too. You need them as much as they need you.
i don't know if i can say it enough: i love you. you are a strong, wonderful, awesome woman who i am so proud to call my friend.
but it's okay not to be strong all the time. it really is.
xoxo
Since I know there are no words... I'll just offer a hug. ::::hug::::
It's ok to feel bad. Don't be so hard on yourself. [hug]
It's such a roller coaster, give yourself plenty of time to heal and know that any emotions you are feeling are valid. Lots and lots of hugs.
exactly what winnie said. coming from soneone who is learning (in a very different struggle) the exact same thing. you are strong, and it's dealing with this honestly that especially shows that strength. hugs.
Still thinking about you and praying for you guys. You are such a strong woman, but like the others have said, it's okay not to be strong all the time. Love you.
I have nothing to add that others before me haven't already said. Please know that I am still thinking of you and your family. I hope each day gets better for you. Big Hugs.
you are absolutely strong, but i'll echo others' sentiments: it's ok if you're not feeling so strong some days. and it doesn't change who you are. remember to give yourself time to fully heal; don't rush through it. when i got in my car accident this january, the doctor asked me if i wanted pain pills and i said no. and she said "hey, you don't win any awards for toughing it out, you know." a car accident is NOTHING compared to what you are going through, but i thought her advice was fitting for a lot of situations. just know there are all of us out here that will carry your load when you're not feeling so strong. lots of love to you.
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