I want to say I'm over it, but I'm not. I am, however, better than I was. That's progress, right? I don't want to crawl in to a hole and hide from the world. I'm not as numb and I'm a little less disconnected. I can laugh and feel it now.
I still cry sometimes. I still know that I would have had a baby shower this past Saturday and that I should have developed a waddle walk by now. I know that I would have been excited to see that little face in a few more weeks and mildly terrified about the pain I'd go through before I could kiss it. I would have been ready for it though. I was ready for it.
Life moves on.
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Some updates on my life:
We are working on the house a little bit. I still have boxes to unpack, but I'm giving myself a tragedy pass. I got a little sidetracked and it is OK that I still have boxes to unpack. We had work done on the front and back yards last month and it makes the house looks a thousand times better. We are not the ugliest spot on the block anymore! Amazing what some green grass can do.
We are also not the hottest house on the block anymore. We installed central air and upgraded the central heat. Now we can actually survive the summer with some level of comfort. I won't have to sit outside on the patio with my feet submerged in a kiddie pool to keep cool. I get to stay inside and fork out more cash for the electric bill instead. ;) Yay!
Lil Man is off to New York and D.C. in a couple of weeks. He'll be gone for 5 days and 4 nights on this trip. I hope he has a great time and takes advantage of the opportunity to go to these places he's never been before. I'll miss him while he's gone, but it'll be worth it if he has fun.
School is almost out too. Holy hell, I can not wait for summer! Being the mom of a 13 year old eighth grader has been quite a challenge. Hubbs and I can use the break. Two months isn't quite long enough, but we'll take it! It'll give us time to recharge the batteries and get ready for high school. I hope we are all ready for the ninth grade...
7 comments:
man, the teen really wanted to go to DC with her 8th grade class. i hope li'l man has a blast!
hang in there, my friend. lots of love for ya.
good to hear from you! i'm jealous of lil man's trip...and i can't believe he's going to be in high school!
i am also jealous of your central heat and air.
I bet I have more boxes than you do, and I neither moved nor have any sort of tragedy pass.
Hope to see you soon.
so good to see you update! i was just thinking about you! post pics of your new yard! xoxo
I can't believe he's already starting high school I hope he enjoys the trip to DC.
good to hear things are starting to get better for you. that includes the house upgrades. Can you come over to my house and help me? I still have nothing on my walls.
((hugs))
Please know that you are in my prayers. I know what you are going through and I still deal with the sadness of my loss. I don't think it ever goes away, you just become stronger at coping with it. If you ever want to talk, I'm here.
~laura
mrslaurab@gmail.com
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