It seems that I am frequently contemplating whether or not I should make a change professionally. Monkey recently reflected on some things in a post and part of it got me thinking again. I wonder if I'm working to my full potential, if I'm in the right profession, and if I should even care so long as my bills are paid? Honestly, when my time on this Earth is done I know my friends and family won't talk about how many hours I worked or what title was on my business card. When they spread my ashes they won't care about what I did professionally. Until that time, what I do for work is about my own self fulfillment and a means to an end.
As some of you may remember, back in November I was told that my income and hours would be cut. The reason I was given was that things were slow and they couldn't afford to pay me for full time work. The change took effect last month. We barely made it through January and now we get to see how February will work out.
I started thinking about my situation and started asking a lot of questions of the people around me and of myself. Was it time to start thinking about doing something else for work? If so, was it time to do something I've felt like I've always wanted to do? Even if it meant we were going to continue to struggle financially? Was now the time to go back to school and change direction?
Over the last couple of months I've looked into some options. I've attended some informational meetings and had a lot of conversations with my Hubbs and other people. I even talked to my Dad in hopes that his wisdom and personal experiences would shed some light for me. I know the decision is always mine to make, but I really value the opinions and insight that people shared.
In the end, pragmatism prevails. I'll put the maybes and the possible dreams on the shelf for now and do what needs to be done. I'm responsible by nature and will do what's best for my family. I always have. I may not be "chasing a dream" by other's standards, but in a way I still am. I dream of providing for my family and having stability. I want to be able to afford some of our future plans. It's not sexy or exciting, but I'm OK with that. And for now, that's enough for me.
11 comments:
I really hate pragmatism, but it's what keeps people like you and me both afloat and grounded.
I think we should have dinner at the country club again soon. It's been awhile, and I'd love to see you (and others, if they can make it).
it's definitely a scary time for career changes, so i can see where it feels better to set them aside for the time being. that doesn't mean that i don't think you're a smart, responsible, awesome person that deserves more. i hope you work things out the best way possible for you and the family.
still thinking good thoughts for you guys. {{hugs}}
I've been contemplating what I want to do too. I still have no answer. I've been reading the Alchemist, which has inspired me to really examine what I want out of life . . . but at the moment all I feel is I have no skills and am not qualified for any jobs.
Sorry to be a debbie downer.
seems to be a common theme these days. ;( I'm confident you'll figure everything out soon!
I'm the exact same way. Sometimes it makes me feel like such a downer because the husband is such a dreamer. He constantly has his head in the clouds talking about what he should be doing and I'm constantly reminding him of what the "real world" is like.
Is there a way that you could pursue something you really love, even if it's not a full transition into a new career right now? For instance, I still freelance and dream of doing some national work, but it comes on the side and when I have time. I realize that you have a child and more responsibilities than I do, but it does bring me a sense of personal fulfillment even if I only take a couple hours a week to do it. Or maybe there's some other opportunity, like a mentor program or volunteering or something that would really get your motor going, but wouldn't require a re-do of any education or anything. And maybe it would even make the other parts of your life that much better because you'd feel more fulfilled? I don't know, maybe not, but I thought I'd just throw that idea out there. I know what you mean about pragmatism. I'm SO with you there. This isn't so much advice as it is commiserating.
PS. Those are kinda sexy goals, because they're honorable. And you rock.
I hear ya, R. I hear ya.
I know what u mean. I'm stuck at a job I'm not sure I want to be here for the next 20 years. That's what my boss wants.
I know you have taken some classes to improve your skills. I give you props for that and the time you put in.
lol i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up*. so yeah, i'm with you
i REALLY want to be an intern on the soup, but I dont think they even pay them, and plus I dont live in CA
oh, R. you know i'm behind you 100%, no matter what. you always make the right choices, and i'm sure that whatever you decide to do will be best for you. and of course, i'm always here if you need me.
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