I want to take a moment and share something that happened to a boy I never knew. His name was Jeremiah and on Monday he decided to kill himself. I'm sure some of you have seen or heard the news blip about it. Then again some of you may not have. The story being told is that he was bullied consistently for a number of years and finally decided he couldn't take it anymore. After having food thrown on him at lunch he locked himself in a bathroom stall at school and shot himself in the head.
To read the full story you can click here or here.
It's shocking and sad on so many levels. My heart goes out to the 14 year old boy who thought there was no way out and no other way to end his pain. We'll never really know what was going on in his head or what really drove him to this ultimate decision. He didn't talk to anybody about what he was feeling or what was going on.
I bring this up because Lil Man gets teased at school and this hit a little close to home. He's smaller than most kids his age and he wears glasses. Different from Jeremiah, but still targets for cruelty and taunts from anyone who feels superior to him based on insignificant things like that. He is intelligent, which will be a good thing when he gets older but seems to single him out as a "nerd" during these growing years. Getting in to a fight over these stupid labels and names isn't worth the trouble it would bring on him, but thankfully it seems he doesn't give too much credit to the people trying to put him down. (The "no tolerance" policy at schools leave little to no room for gray areas like self defense, but rest assured he'll be OK at home if he needs to defend himself in any situation.)
He's got a big heart and it hurts just as much as any other kid when he's picked on. The difference is that he has me and Hubbs to talk to about the teasing. And he does talk to us. Thank goodness that he does. We talked about what happened to Jeremiah and all the things surrounding the situation. I let him share his feelings on it and ask me questions. I reminded him that no matter what happens I, and Hubbs of course, will always be there for him to talk to about anything. I wish Jeremiah had the same outlet. I wish his parents had asked him how his day was and kept asking until he told them. I don't know that they didn't, but I wish something different has happened.
It's tough being a kid and it's tough being a parent sometimes, but the fact that I still have mine to be mad at when he screws up makes me smile. I'll take that any day over not having him at all. I love that Lil Man more than my own life.
12 comments:
oh god, sad. kids can be so cruel.
my one piece of advice. the kids who survive it, who are the "nerds" and "weirdos" and everything else...they turn out to be the wonderful human beings, and the ones that teased or didn't stick up for the teased ones end up in dead-end jobs, reliving their glory days forevermore because that was the high point of their life.
i wish more parents did what you do with lil man... talk. and listen.
This made me cry!
li'l man is incredibly lucky to have a wonderful, thoughtful, caring mom like you.
and i, too, was shocked and saddened about jeremiah's story. what a sad ending to such a short life.
I hadn't heard this story before, really sad;(
it hurts me to hear lil man gets teased, but I'm happy to hear he talks to you about it.
I hadn't heard this story neither. You two are really good parents. I'm really sad to hear that lil man gets teased at school. But really, being a nerd is good! Popularity doesn't matter after high school, but intelligence gets you through life.
Lil Man is so lucky to have you -- and vice versa. Thanks for sharing this.
I hadn't heard about Jeremiah, but I do worry about our future children. I hate to be a "blame the parents" kind of girl, but where are these bullies getting it from? Why are things so much worse now than we we were young? (And I fully believe they are worse now) I think its because there's less parental interaction with their children. It's great that you and your boy have the ability to dialogue and connect with each other.
You sound like a great Mommy.
Beamer
this is so sad :( kids can be so cruel sometimes. my heart goes out to this poor kid's family.
i'm really glad that lil man has you around to talk to. just keep those lines of communication open and it'll be a huge benefit to him. {{hugs}}
oh no-- what a sad sad story :( hearing this just makes you want to hug the people around you so that they know they are loved.
That's so devastating. How sad! It makes me sad to hear that little man gets picked on. You know, I had a hard time with friends when I was a kid too. There was a year where all these girls turned on me and really terrorized me. I poured my heart out to my mom about it and she bitched those girls out so hardcore, that they all called me one day and apologized. It is SO important to have parents you can talk to.
Is there anything you can do about Lil man's situation? It's not right that kids are giving him a hard time. Makes my blood boil - he is such a sweet kid.
That is so sad. :(
I want to beat up the kids that make fun of Lil' Man.
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