There should be a class that gives you all the right answers on what to do with a tween. That class should have the plan laid out for you so you know what is messed up and what isn't. It would be nice if there was an instruction booklet that came along with that innocent, sweet bundle of joy you went through labor to spit out from your loins. That would help during the times you don't know what the hell to do with your kid when his answer to everything is "I don't know".
That blank stare drives me insane.
There's a mixture of fear and despair when your kid messes up. It's not so much the big, major screw up that has you wondering if he's going to jail or if you need to call a lawyer. No, that is defined and you know to be scared. You know something is fucked up when that happens. There is a small, nagging fear that comes with the tiny, consistent infractions that cause you to wonder in the back of your mind whether or not your kid is going to "get it" and be OK in the end. That's a different fear all together.
Will there be a day that it all clicks and I don't have to fight about it anymore?
Having a child is wonderful and amazing. There are joys your heart can not imagine until you've had a child of your own and that sleeping part inside of you wakes up. You will never love someone so completely and unselfishly in your entire life the way you love your child. It's just different than when you love your husband or your parents.
You will also never be as completely and utterly angry with anyone the way you are with your child. There is an uncanny ability for that small person to drive you to insanity as quickly as they can melt your heart. I believe it has something to do with the immense capacity of love you are capable of carrying for that person that opens up the other side of things to the same extreme. I love him so much that no one else could possibly make me as angry as he does. My husband comes close sometimes, but it's just different.
There should be a class and built in instructions that tell you how to do it right. This is fucking hard.
9 comments:
I love this post for its honesty. I also have to admit it scares the crap out of me for what's ahead...
I'm scurrrrred to have children.
Yeah, I'm not scared to have a baby. I'm scared to have a teenager. I wish I had some answers for you. :/ I'm sure everything will work out.
i think my mom could have written this exact post about my brother starting from the age lil man is to, well, just a few years ago.
the upside to that is my brother finally "got it." took some years and many a grey hair on my mother's head, but in the end, it's working itself out.
hang in there. i can only imagine how difficult those little bundles of joy can be sometimes. {{hugs}}
[shudders] hang in there! i think lil man is just testing your patience and will eventually "get it" :)
man, I don't envy you whatsoever. except that you have a great kid, but with the good comes the bad, I suppose!
hang in there, you've raised him well, he'll "get it" eventually. ;)
oh, friend. i feel your pain, you know this. and we've only scratched the surface!
i truly don't think a class or a manual would help. these little shits are crafty as hell and would finagle some crazy situation that wouldn't be covered in class or found in the index of the manual.
godspeed, my friend. may the force be with you (and me!).
I cannot imagine all the lov,e pride, and frustration that having kids can bring. All I know is: you're an amazing mom.
That's it - Em Dash is staying safely in my uterus until she's AT LEAST 21!
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