Leaving on a Jet Plane

There have been some new developments in my Auntie's medical situation. She sent an e-mail last week letting my Dad and I know that she has been scheduled for her double mastectomy surgery. Originally it was going to be tomorrow on the 20th, but that changed when she decided that she would take steps towards possibly undergoing reconstructive surgery in the future. When she changed her mind the date got moved to the 28th.

My Auntie has several well intentioned friends that offered to help her during this process of coping with, treating, and recovering from her cancer. Of course, when it's crunch time, no one can be there to help her. One of her friends probably could follow through with her earlier promises, but her house is an environment of chaos that is not conducive to a relaxed and restful recovery. Not to mention she's recently had surgery on her foot that would make it difficult for her to move around freely to help my Auntie. She'd rather be at home where she's comfortable and can rest. I don't blame her.

I had always planned to fly out to be with her during her surgery if she needed or wanted me to. Since she's a fairly private person I didn't know if she'd want me there. I talked to her on the phone over the weekend and she said she would really love for me to be there if I could. I spoke to my Dad a day or two later and he got really emotional when I told him that I planned to be there. My Auntie isn't married and never had any kids. We are it. We will take care of her...for now, I will.

Early on in this process of her treatment I'd talked to Hubbs about flying out if she needed me so we were somewhat ready. I expected it to be later in the year, but plans change and you go with the flow. I will be flying out there next Wednesday the 27th and will stay with her through the 6th of September. I'm very thankful that my job is flexible and I'm able to go at such short notice. I've also been extremely fortunate that people are helping out while I'm gone so that Lil Man can get to practice in the evenings and to his scheduled doctor appointment. I am forever grateful to Nina and my Mom for their support. Of course, Hubbs will be holding down the fort on all fronts in my absence too and deserves big props for that. I am so unbelievably lucky he's my husband.

I'll be missing a lot of things while I'm gone...a baby shower, a bachelorette party, Lil Man's football games, and all the other daily things that make me smile. Out of everything, I am the most sad to miss my son's birthday. I've never missed one before and this breaks my heart. It's the last one before he turns into an official teenager and we had planned a fun day at Universal Studios to celebrate. I had a talk with Lil Man about everything and he was very much OK with the situation. I promised to take him somewhere fun for a belated celebration when I get back and he thought that was a great idea. I feel better, but I will most assuredly feel that twinge of sadness on the 31st.

I'm happy to be able to stay with my Auntie and help her after those initial days, but I will admit that I'm unsure of what to expect. I'm also a tiny bit afraid of falling short of the role I'm supposed to play. I hope I'm a help and I hope I can handle it. I will be staring her cancer in the face and I don't want to crack.