Halloween is canceled

*Warning--this is a long semi-vent*

This is very hard for me. Talking about the crappy stuff that goes on when you're raising kids isn't what parents want to share. They want to talk about the cool birthday trips and cupcakes they made that kick the other snacks' asses. We want to talk about how well they are doing in school and think about all the really great things we have in mind for them when they grow up. That's what parents want to do. They want to go to sleep at night and know that despite set backs here and there, everything is as it should be. I want to.

Unfortunately, raising kids is not always about cute outfits and class parties. It's not only about signing up for basketball and what's for Christmas. Sometimes its about bad grades or lying and sometimes its about things more serious. I made a promise to be honest with my topics on this blog and tell things from my perspective. I guess that means even the stuff that I'm not always excited to talk about. Who knows, maybe someone will learn from my battles and it'll better prepare them for parenthood. I know I wish I was better prepared sometimes.

So let's get to it. I won't give you all the gory details, but I'll give you the gist of things. My darling fruit of my loins is fucking up. Big time. He's recently seen fit to steal, lie, and forge my husband's signature on an incident report for something that happened at school last week which I just found out about today (unrelated to the stealing and lying previously mentioned). Of course he's trying to lie his way out of the forgery, but its blatant and obvious that he did it. And sadly for my son, we were not born on Planet Idiot and recently sent to Earth to parent the Most Brilliant Child In All of Existence. Apparently my book smart son is the stupidest kid on Earth. At this rate he'll be the smartest damned kid in his cell block. Maybe I'm exaggerating and maybe I'm not. All of his offenses are pretty serious to me and I tend to take these things to their extreme and attempt to nip it in the bud.

When a kid is messing up everyone looks to the parents. It's their fault, right? I mean they teach their kid the lessons of life and show them how to be successful. They are charged with producing decent human beings that go forth and prosper building from their solid foundation provided in a loving environment. That's their job. And when they fail at it, the results are obvious in the child's behavior and eventual success or lack thereof.

So who do you blame when the parent or parents have done all that? Where do you point the finger when the kid has been taught the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, lies and truth, and consistently applied the theory that there are consequences for their actions? There are no drugs, no alcoholism, no abuse or neglect of any kind in the home. There is plenty of hugging and open communication--I love yous are plentiful. All the stuff you think makes for a stable environment is present and accounted for...so WTF? What makes this little shit think it's OK to pull the crap he's pulling? I just don't get it. I'm not necessarily opening myself up to be analyzed, but I want those who don't really know me that well to understand that I really am a decent parent as far as parents go. I'm not perfect, but I'm a far cry from crazy or ill fit so all of this is very consternating to me.

We're trying to get to the root of the problem, but in the meantime that whole 'consequences' issue is looming. Halloween is canceled at my house. No costumes, no pumpkins, no trick or treat, and no candy. This sucks for me too because I look forward to carving pumpkins with the kid. We watch The Great Pumpkin every year while the pumpkin seeds are baking. We get dressed up and trick or treat with friends and I love taking pictures of it all. Not this year. Sadness. There will be more than just canceling Halloween...this is only the beginning of the suffering. :(

We try so hard and put so much time into doing right by him and for him. We're in touch with his teachers, I am always at his school plays and performances, we try to keep him involved in sports and positive activities, we praise his good work and show him how to do better on his not so good work...the list goes on and on. Stuff like this is very depressing. And frustrating. I can't help but ask myself "Where did I go wrong?". He doesn't even see or spend time with SD but he's acting like him in so many ways. It makes my stomach hurt.

Raising kids isn't always fun, but I hope the universe sees it fit to make it worth it at the end of it all. I'm going to crack open one of those new bottles of wine I just bought tonight after dinner. I'm going to deal with Lil' Man, put him to bed, watch The Office for some laughs, and drink.

It ain't pretty folks, but it's life.