Eventual

It was bound to happen. I knew that eventually I would not be able to keep up with the standard that was set for me and I'd have to deal with it. I did not, however expect today to be that day. I won't go into too much detail because that would take way too long, but I'll give you some key points so you can follow along.

I have a friend who has been my friend since the 7th grade. We've been through some stuff together-family, first loves, kids, marriages, and divorce. I've been there for her and she has been there for me. She was in my wedding and has always been a part of my life. Lately we've both been really busy. She started back to school, has two kids, works nights, and is going through a divorce. Sort of. I've also been taking classes, working full time, dealing with my knuckle-headed kid, and trying to pursue different professional avenues while balancing some semblance of a home life. Needless to say our schedules haven't been meshing and we haven't hung out in a while.

Sadly, my friend is emotional high maintenance. She has always been a sensitive person. She can be pretty needy and that tends to make it hard to devote enough time to her. Especially with so much going on. A phone call is not a 15 minute thing with her. It's an hour or so on average. Sometimes that is awesome, and sometimes it is not. She is an amazing, loyal friend who would do anything I needed and I would do the same for her. Apparently she feels like I have not been a good enough friend to her lately. I received a long, emotional e-mail this morning where she recounted all the ways that I've been lacking in our friendship over the last week or two.

It has come as a complete shock to me; really way out of left field. Any time in the past when either of us has been busy we've understood each other and we catch up when we can. She was always that friend you could talk to after a while and pick up where you left off. I'm generally attentive and don't miss things like this so I'm not sure where this is coming from. At the same time I guess it shouldn't surprise me. She's so emotional about things that I can see how this has quietly escalated. I think my dear friend expects me to know her thoughts. I am some super friend in her mind and I should have known that I hurt her feelings. I didn't, and in my view of the situation she is over reacting very much. I'm sure it's probably a result of stress and other stuff she's dealing with.

She is completely entitled to her feelings and I have acknowledged them. I'm trying to be "healthy" about it all while being sensitive. I hope she understands. I've apologized for my part in the situation and let her know my feelings on other issues she brought up. Hopefully that is enough. I don't know if I have the energy to be a super friend right now, but I'm doing the best I can.