Restricted

I don't know about you guys, but when I get a call and the I.D. comes up "restricted" there's a 99% chance that I'm not going to pick up the phone. That's just how I am. Most people who know me, know that about me. Unless I'm expecting your call, chances are you're going to have to leave me a message and I'll call back. There is one day in particular that seeing this ambiguous identification pop up especially irks me. That would be on Lil' Man' s birthday and that inevitable call is usually from Sperm Donor (SD).

SD and I met way back when I was 18 almost 19. Fresh out of high school and attending Jr. College since I couldn't afford to go to school in San Diego like I had planned. He played basketball with my friend C who lived with us at the time because he had issues at home. I used to go watch my pal play sometimes and ran across SD here and there. We eventually started hanging out--he'd come over to the house with C and we'd play cards or he'd walk with me to the laundry mat and we'd hang out and talk. I guess we eventually ended up dating...even though he never really took me anywhere. It just sort of happened.

I had gotten out of a pretty bad relationship a few months before and was mainly looking to laugh again and have a little fun in my young life. I'd already been through so much crap to that point that it was nice to have someone to give me that. SD was a sweet talker and made me laugh...and I was a sucker. We were only officially "together" for 3 months and then had decided to end it. After all, he was 26 and had no interest in things like getting a good job or living in his own place. I had also found out that he never actually graduated high school. Even at 19 I knew I wanted more out of life. We stopped dating shortly after his birthday at the end of November and I began to focus on finals. Done and done.

Not so much. After we broke I found out that SD had 3 kids I didn't know about before. Holy shit. You'd think a person would tell you about their kids. Klassy. Shortly after finals I found out I was pregnant. Holy fucking double shit. We used protection-this wasn't supposed to happen. I struggled with what to do and finally made the decision to become a mother. I told SD what was going on, he freaked out and said some stuff he shouldn't have, I informed him that it was more of a courtesy call than anything, and decided to take a break from school and get hired on full time at my temp job so I could get a place for me and Lil' Man-to-be.

We tried to make it work and got a place together, but as with all "try to make it work for the baby" situations, it failed. He couldn't, or wouldn't, stop getting phone numbers from other women and sleeping with them while lying about everything and I couldn't look the other way. I was better than that so he had to go. And go he did. Ever since then, and really before we finally split up, he has been a mediocre father at best. Maybe one day I'll go into details about all the crap, but really what would be the point? I never said anything bad about him to Lil' Man and never went psycho bitch on him for any reason. That's not my style.

What does all this have to do with restricted calls? Well, it's a little background to the situation with how things are now. He is not a presence in Lil' Man's life and hasn't seen him in at least 3 years. Before that he'd see him maybe once or twice a year. All phone calls stopped about 3 years ago too. Except for on Lil' Man's birthday--when he calls from a restricted line. His M.O. has been to call from a restricted line, leave a message and either say to call him back (but not leave a phone number) or give a window of time where he'll call back. What are you, the cable guy??

I think it's cowardly and reprehensible that you'd half ass an attempt at having contact with your son. I already hate restricted calls and this doesn't make it any better. I don't answer restricted calls and I haven't for as long as I've had my cell phone. Maybe one day you'll wise up, SD but I won't hold my breath.